Why do we repeat certain behaviors that don’t align with who we are? What is the unlearned lesson that keeps repeating in our lives?
Just when we think we have learned the lesson something happens to show us that there is still more work to be done and a greater lesson to be learned. There have been moments in my life where I have felt that I am living a record that is scratched and on constant repeat. Whether the lesson is about the types of relationships I have allowed in my life that may or may not be good for me; or something having to do with career choices and finances, these poor choices and mistakes from my past have a funny way of reappearing like a bad cameo. Why do we repeat certain behaviors that don’t align with who we are? And then we beat ourselves up for making the same mistakes. Being cruel to ourselves is debilitating. What matters is acknowledging that what we are reliving/repeating is an important part of our growth and to our life story. When we finally come to realize this truth; that perhaps there is something we haven’t yet learned, this might help us release some of the pain. The repeating of cycles and repeating of perceived mistakes is incredibly important. There is a message in that experience for us when we take the time to really listen and look for it. Until we figure out what that lesson is we are doomed to repeat it.
The unlearned lesson that showed up for me this past weekend happened while I was at a Woman’s Leadership Symposium, I was asked the question, “Alicia, what mistakes have you made in your career and how have you dealt with it…how did you bounce back?” My stomach did flips… I felt ill… I took a deep breath and shared my biggest secret and shameful moment about a mistake I made when I worked at Bacardi and the length of time it took for me to get over that moment. What was being reflected to me–as me, were so many women who feel that they are not enough, do not have enough, aren’t smart enough, not lovable enough, not good enough, not skinny enough, not successful enough and not pretty enough. These messages of “not being enough…” is a record being played that is finally time we break! We are not the mistakes of our past. We are enough and so much more! Be still and know that in this moment you have always been good enough!
What is the unlearned lesson that keeps replaying in your life?
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Photo: Alicia Anabel Santos