Today was a slow day on the mountain. It rained the entire day and the mountain was extremely dangerous. There is really no way to prepare for the unexpected weather of the mountain. One moment the sun is shining bright and the next moment there could be an avalanche of rocks or an ice storm. So today we move slower and with precaution. It is absolutely frigid out here. Why didn’t I pick forty days on a sexy beach with a frozen drink and bikini?
My pacing has become more calculated and intentional. My footing is more grounded and steady since the days we first arrived, but I am exhausted and my body is incredibly sore. The amount of upper body strength that is required is tremendous. I wake daily setting very clear intentions for myself about how far I will push myself. And while the other climbers on my team are experts they allow me to be where I am at. I am not in a rush to get to the end.
Something has shifted.
As I look out at the peaks of all that we have already reached I am so proud of myself… of all of us.
I inhale, look up and give thanks… although I can’t see them … I know they are out there… I know they are all with me…
It’s interesting the thoughts that come up as I climb.
Will I make it? Will I get to the top?
These doubts and fears are still there, but today I am thinking about the wonders of the world.
How incredibly beautiful nature is… I feel like a newborn seeing for the first time. It is so hard to paint pictures with words of how beautiful the views are. The sunrise, the sunset—these are the times of day that are most sacred for me. Am I really doing this? Am I really here?
Today I thought a lot about my life… my dreams… wonderment… I wondered about what is in store for me.
I want more…
This thought has risen for me most recently and quite often.
Today as I looked out for the first time I saw ALL of my possibilities…
This is the moment when you not only know – or hear from the world that “your possibilities ARE endless…” you actually believe this. Today I believed in my endless possibilities.
I know it sounds cliché – but the truth is that there ARE endless possibilities.
When I think about the greatest creations by people who really believe in their dreams as more than just merely these impossible ideas— this is what they discovered when they took that first step… This is when they understood what they are really striving for… it is no longer just some impossible dream… they are tapping into their capacity for fully reaching and manifesting their total and complete POTENTIAL!
And this is the endless possibility… it is their potential to tap into all that they can do, can have and can be.
She said, “I want you to teach you how to realize your potential.”
I responded, “I want to fully reach my potential and see what this looks like from the top. I am doing this for me, for you, and for all of us.”
The moment you see your potential and reach out for it. This is the moment you actually see yourself… arriving… standing at the top – finishing it… not finishing in record time… its not about arriving before anyone… it is about arriving right on time. Because everything happens right on time!
I guess that’s really what has been missing from my journey… remembering that I am walking, living, breathing endless possibilities.
I am reminding myself that this is not a race… this not a competition but I always arrive right on time. I will close my day reflecting on steadiness and constant movement. I will tread with caution, eyes wide open and ready to receive ALL that is in store for me. Namaste ~ And so it is… Aché
✿✿Note to readers following our journey: Now that we have begun our climb I will not be posting to facebook as often. Please follow my blog at the top of the page. Thank you for your love and well wishes.
✿✿Note to newcomers accepting the writing challenge! You can begin the challenge at any point. There is no right or wrong way to participate. You are not being graded or judged. This is a gift we are giving ourselves. So be gentle during this process. We are about to climb a mountain, YO! Remember that. Remember we must be present. Release all self-defeating thoughts. You can do this. I do want to remind the new climbers that no matter what day you decide to join the challenge please begin at the beginning. It’s important to prepare! Please remember to post your daily responses in my comments on my blog. Sending you all love. See you at the top of the mountain.
With all my love,
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Day 10: No Words Needed
Brandon and Claudia have been at each other’s throats all morning. Apparently Claudia feels she is seeing signs and clues that are mentioned in her notebook and Brandon basically responds with sarcastic remarks that fuel Claudia’s voice into a screeching squeak of a scream. It sounds louder up in the heavens where we’re at. I’m sure God’s as annoyed as we are with them.
Claudia kept referencing her book as she neared certain areas. We all made it to our next destination, despite their inconsiderate bickering and once Anil announced, “congratulations on making it to Yangre Kharka. You are now at 11480 feet'” Claudia yelled and the sound of ruffling and thumps was heard. Everyone turned in the direction of the noise and realize that Claudia had slipped down the steep wall and was still sliding down. We all ran as carefully as we could and as quickly as we could to hold onto her rope which was unraveling at what seemed like the speed of death to me.
Brandon kept yelling to her, “quedate quieta, no te muevas mami!”
We helped Brandon pull and finally we saw her bruised forehead appear and then the rest of her came up. Brandon pulled her close and cried in her arms. I pulled out my first aide kit and Both Brandon and Peter began cleaning the scratches and wounds on her face. Claudia didn’t look at anyone except Brandon. She starred at him and said, “hijo mio.”
This made him cry more.
She put his hand in hers and said, “nos hablamos muy mal, tu y yo pero te quiero mucho. Yo se que tu no cres en lo mio pero eso no importa porque tu amor me alcanza.”
“Ya hijo mio, no llores” and they stood there, frozen in frost of the evening with nothing but warm of her words in the air.
It was then that it all became clear to me, that relationship between a parent and a child.
I understood we didn’t need many words and I began thinking of all the things papi has does for me.
– Papi makes sure mami makes my favorite dish whenever I come over.
– Papi puts on the old school salsa knowing that Ismael Rivera and Marvin Santiago are one of the few loves we have in common….no diversions needed. We can sit in that living room and just jam.
– Papi still buys a two liter Pepsi just in case I want it though he knows I’ve stopped drinking soda some time ago.
– Papi keeps up with Japanese things knowing about my geisha collection.
– Papi doesn’t let anyone drink out of BECKY’s cup.
And none of these things required words but the love is a blaring thing indeed. No words needed.