Silence in solitude!
I am so tired of these women and their stories. They are constantly telling me what I SHOULD be doing… how I SHOULD be acting… how I SHOULD be praying… what I SHOULD be asking for…. exactly how I SHOULD go about getting the things that I want… and what I SHOULD have achieved by now!
Today I just want to be left alone.
Solitude is my salvation. It has always been. Being silent is necessary sometimes.
I don’t even want to speak today.
Sometimes I don’t want to be around anyone.
Sometimes I don’t want to be with those who rely on me to make THEM feel better. Sometimes I don’t even want to be around the ones I love.
Sometimes I pray for solitude.
In solitude this is when I am nourished the most. In solitude I am restored. In solitude I hear all the messages that are meant for me. In solitude there is no judgment. In solitude there is nothing to fear. In solitude I can trust. In solitude I can surrender.
In my dream he asked me how my spiritual self was feeling? He asked me where my things were. He asked me if I have been taking care of myself.
There are moments where I have neglected myself. Moments where I have neglected my spirit. Moments when I don’t give to my guides all that they give to me.
How have I been tending to my spirit? How have I been tending to my spiritual crop? How have I tended my spiritual life?
Vedanti then told me the story of the girl who was not valued. The girl believed no one loved her. The girl believed she was of no value. The girl believed that she was no one. This girl gave so much to so many. She gave of her time. She gave of her love. She opened her home. She gave her clothes. She gave her joy. She gave her food. She gave to the universe. She did good works. She gave to community. She gave to her family. She even gave away her peace…
In return she did not receive so much as a thank you.
She was happy giving.
She gave from a place of compassion and love.
She gave freely and was patient.
She gave of herself completely
She was an overflowing vessel that finally became as dry as the Atacama…
Yet… she still wanted a thank you… some kind of blessing for all she has given.
Vedanti wondered… is this what her life has become? She became a woman of no faith! She became a woman with lost hope. She became a woman without inspiration, emotion and feeling. She became a woman of no purpose. She became a woman who had forgotten that the blessing is in the giving expecting nothing… yet she was expecting!!!
The woman was in an unfamiliar place forced to stand still and not move. Paralyzed from her mind to her heart… this girl now woman… asked herself, “Is my journey done? What have I left? What is it that I need? Who am I? And most important what is it that I want?”
The woman sees a fire in the distance… burning so high… smoke consuming the skies… it has reached her and she can not breathe… her lungs are closed… she cries… she needs a little of what she has given… words… the words that lift her… the words that will pull her out of the flames and smoke… the words that will restore her… what she needs is something that will last for all eternity!
She had nothing left to give… so she was left searching for her self again!
And so it is!