“All the signs were pointing inwards. Everything I heard and read that day had to do with looking at my past. I was getting these messages every single day. Until you look at your past you will not be able to move forward. I was hearing the same messages in everything. Look at your past. Until you deal with an issue from the past it will remain unresolved. I was seeing messages in the books I was reading, in my horoscope, my goddess cards, and my affirmations. All of the messages pointed inwards. I was being called to look into my heart. I was being called to enter that dark space that I was afraid of revisiting, reliving or unleashing. Darkness can be scary. The idea of what will be found out if I start unlocking shit scared the hell out of me.
My heart was racing I knew what I had to do. I got up from the floor, rolled up my yoga mat and grabbed my journal and pen. I began to write the first letter. As the pen moved across the page it was as if I went back to those moments I had locked in that box so long ago. It wasn’t even me writing. I was writing so urgently. I couldn’t keep up with my thoughts. It was life or death. It was like I needed to get it out and fast. It was eating me up alive. Fighting its way out of me. It was poisoning me. It felt like cigarette burns on my arm, the screech of chalk on the board, internal bleeding, exiting my pours. The blood was coming out of my eyes and fingers. I was exposed… raw… the truth was coming out of me… all of it.”
Available on SoundCloud FREE: Finding Your Force A Journey to Love Chapter 5 ~ (Parts 1-3).